You have some standards in relationships.  You have things that you prefer, and you have deal-breakers.  So what happens when the other person’s standards are in conflict with yours?

Let’s say you can’t stand Suzy.  She talks about people behind their backs, she’s negative all the time, she’s critical of everyone.  You and Suzy have a mutual friend who really likes Suzy and wants to hang out with her all the time.  You tell your friend that if Suzy is part of the package, you’re not interested.  She tells you that if Suzy can’t be part of the package, then she’s not interested.

Who’s right?  Who’s wrong?  You’re right.  So is your friend.  You are allowed to set the rules for the relationships in your life.  So is everyone else.  Sometimes those rules will run up against each other.  That doesn’t make either of you wrong, but it does mean that you probably won’t be friends any more.  That’s why I wrote the post about how all relationships change, and most of them end.

Although our society might tell you otherwise, it is actually possible for two people to have completely different ideas, and both of them are right.  You can choose to respect your friend’s rules for the relationship, even if that means the end of it.  No one has to conform to your rules, but you are allowed to stick by them for yourself.