Conflict is inevitable in life.  Things are going to go wrong.  People are going to have disagreements.  How can we keep these little problems from turning into big problems?  When you speak, be businesslike.

I use this rule to be a good dad, a good dog trainer, a good manager, and a good friend.  Think about how you might sound when you’re upset with a friend, or annoyed at a coworker, or mad at the dog.  Chances are, you will sound like you’re upset or emotional.  And when you talk to someone in an upset or emotional tone, usually they will respond by escalating the level of emotion, and the situation goes from bad to worse in a hurry.

Instead of expressing your emotional state, what would happen if you said what you had to say in a calm, rational, businesslike way?  Probably the other person will also respond in a calm, rational way.  Notice I said probably.  There is nothing you can do to prevent someone from being emotional or irrational if that is what they choose.  But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try.

Think about this the next time you’re in a situation where you have to talk with someone about something that you’re not happy about.  Before you start to speak, try to calm yourself, and focus on really listening to how you’re coming across to the other person.  Do everything you can to be as businesslike as possible, and see if it helps the level of communication.  It takes some extra work to do it, but I think it’s worth not having the extra drama in my life.