It’s great to be in a relationship; to have someone to share your experiences with; to take away the stress of dating and breaking up. But it’s only great to be in a relationship if it’s a good one. And it’s only going to be a good one if you also know how to be alone.

Being alone is hard. It’s hard because people expect you to be seeing someone, especially as you get older. It’s hard because it’s nice to have someone to go out with, or stay in with, without having to think about it. And it’s hard because it can make you question yourself, and whether you are good enough for another person to like you.

The problem is that if you can’t stand being alone, you end up getting into a relationship with the first person who pays attention to you when you’re single. Maybe you’ll get lucky and that will be a great relationship, but chances are it won’t be. The other problem is that you end up being way too accepting of a relationship, instead of demanding the relationship that you deserve, because you’re afraid to end it and be alone again.

If you find yourself single, set a time frame for yourself to be single. Be with yourself. Be with your friends. Make new friends. Try new things. Embrace being alone.

The better you can get at being alone, the more successful your relationships will be.