How you do anything is how you do everything. I heard this quote from the former Kent State football coach, who used it as a mantra for his team. This team ended up having the highest GPA of any KSU football team, ever.

You can’t expect to be great in one part of your life, while being a slacker in other parts of it. The type of effort and commitment that you choose to put into the things that you do is your choice, every day. You can choose to work hard and do your best, or you can choose to look for shortcuts or avoid putting in the hard work. And it just isn’t realistic to think that you can work super hard in certain areas while totally slacking off in other areas.

So when you’re feeling unmotivated, or like you would rather be slacking off, think about the kind of person you want to be in general. Make that choice, and then apply it right now. Be the best version of yourself when you don’t really feel like it, and you’ll find it easier to be the best version of yourself all of the time.

I was listening to an interview with the historian Jon Meacham, and he said “in a republic, we are all leaders.” I think this is such an important thing to remember. It’s really easy to look to our elected officials and defer to their authority or leadership, but each of us is a leader too.

What you choose to say, or not to say, as a witness to hostility, or racism, or misogyny, sets a tone for the people around you. Having had a president who set an example of treating people terribly, it is even more important for the rest of us to remember that we are leaders too, and that we can set a positive tone to help counteract the negative tone.

For sure, each of us doesn’t have the platform that any elected official has, but that doesn’t mean that we don’t still have power. Remember that you are a leader, whether you realize it or not. People have a natural inclination to be led. Where will you lead them?

I was listening to an interview with NBA referee Marc Davis, and he said something that really stuck with me; “As long as you have the final say, give up the last word.”

This is great advice for parents, teachers, and bosses. It’s so easy to overuse or abuse the power that you have over other people. But if you truly have the final say, as parents, teachers, and bosses do, sometimes it’s better to just let the other person have the last word, even if it isn’t appropriate, or they’re wrong, because really what’s the point of getting into it? You can have the last word, but sour the relationship in the process. And where will that get you?

I gave blood today.  For quite a few years, I gave blood every 8 weeks.  Then, after the blood lady stuck my arm in a bad way, and it swelled up and bled later, I stopped donating for a few years.  Lately, I’ve been donating again.

When I donate blood, I think about why I do it.  On the one hand, I do believe in the power of karma; that what you put into the universe comes back to you.  So you could argue that my motives are self-serving.  On the other hand, I know that it’s just the right thing to do, and I try to always do the right thing.  I don’t always succeed, but I do always try.

There was an episode of Friends where Joey was arguing that any time you do something nice, you’re actually doing it for yourself.  Phoebe pointed out something she had done that she hadn’t received any credit for.  Joey asked how it made her feel, and she said that it made her feel good.  He said “See!!”

There is an element of truth to this.  When you do something good for someone else, even an anonymous, future someone else, it does make you feel good.  I’ve been wondering if this is a bad thing.  Are you really doing something selfless if doing it makes you feel good?  I think that the answer is yes.  It’s okay to get some sense of personal satisfaction from doing the right thing.  There are so many instances in life where we don’t get recognition from others for the things that we do, so it makes sense to me that we should learn to give ourselves that recognition.  If the sense of satisfaction encourages us to do more good in the future, then everyone benefits; and isn’t that really the whole point?

When I told Leah about this, she said that the reason people do good things is because it makes them feel good.  Growing up, I was taught that you should never feel good about anything that you do, and you should absolutely never feel proud of yourself; because pride is a sin against god and you’re taking credit for his actions.  This is just one of many things that seems normal to most people, but I have a very different perspective based on my unhealthy childhood.  I am giving myself permission to feel good about giving blood.