The worst thing about preparing for an unpleasant conversation is filling your head with worst-case scenarios about what might happen. It could be a breakup, or firing an employee, or just confronting an issue with someone.

The best approach to take is to boil down your point to one simple sentence, then stick with it. Some people love to argue, and they’ll want to steer the conversation in all kinds of directions. Don’t let them

Just make your one point, and stick with it. If they want to change the subject, you can respond by telling them that that is a conversation for another time, but right now we’re talking about this.

Make one point, and stay on it.

Remember the last time you tried to convince someone of something? How’d it work out?

We each have our own perception of what we see and how we see it. And generally speaking, we are not open to having that perception changed.

So instead of trying to convince someone of something, instead try finding the place where you actually agree, and focus on that part.

Sometimes people ask us for advice. Sometimes we just see that they could use some guidance. Before you offer your help, think twice.

Most people don’t actually want help. Most people want to keep doing exactly what they’re doing and get different results. They want to keep eating what they want but lose weight. They want to keep dating the same type of person but have the relationship be good.

So before you offer advice to anyone, really think about whether they are actually wanting to make a change in their life, and you can help them.

If they aren’t ready to do things differently, then save your breath.

All relationships have conflicts.  It’s complicated dealing with other people.  We all have our own opinions, and our own baggage, so conflicts are inevitable.

Your first conflict with a friend or partner tells you a lot about who that person is.  Some people get defensive, or angry, or make accusations.  It’s best to be patient and empathetic towards other people, but that doesn’t mean that you have to accept any unkind behavior.  You can be understanding without being verbally abused.

Sometimes the first conflict you have with someone is also the last.  If a person is unwilling to be reasonable and have a rational conversation, then there might not be any reason to continue interacting with them.  You need to look out for yourself in any relationship, and make sure that you are getting the treatment that you deserve.

We have so many people come and go through our lives.  How do we choose which ones to share our lives with, and which ones we are better off without.  For me, shared values is a major factor.

What do I mean by shared values?  Ask yourself what is really important to you, on a base level.  What are your morals and values?  How important are they to you?

There are many people you will know who don’t share your values, but it doesn’t matter.  Maybe it doesn’t matter because it isn’t that important a relationship.  Maybe it doesn’t matter because the value in question is a minor one.  With each relationship, you need to evaluate how much it matters.

And even if you decide that it doesn’t matter, you should still keep in mind how their values differ from yours.  For instance, if you know that someone doesn’t share your value for honesty, it doesn’t mean you can’t be friends with them.  It does mean that you should never forget that at any moment they may not be honest with you.

Sometimes, you will realize that your values and the other person’s values do not align in a way that really matters to you.  When this happens, it’s time to end the relationship.  Most people will not understand if you do this.  Each person typically feels that what they do is okay, so if you end a relationship because their values don’t align with yours, they will generally feel that you are the one that is wrong.  And this is okay.  You don’t need anyone else’s approval when you’re making your decisions based on your values.

Can any of us be defined in a single word?  Bitch, Gay, Asshole, Dumb, Slut, Jock, Nerd.  It’s easy to reduce someone to a single characteristic, but we are all so much more than one word can ever communicate.

Especially when someone is doing things that we find frustrating or bothersome, it is easy to put a label on them.  If a girl is being mean to you, she’s a “bitch.”  People are so complex, and we are all influenced by so many factors that affect how we interact with others.  There may be people out there who are just plain mean, bad people, but most of the time, there is a lot more going on than what you can see.

Think about it this way.  Think about how you come across to others when you’re not on your best behavior.  Maybe you had a bad night and morning at home.  Maybe you’re stressed about a test that you didn’t do well on.  Maybe your friends are being doing things that are stressing you out.  If someone labels you based on that behavior, is it accurate?

Now think about this.  Many people’s lives are not like yours.  What if every evening at home was bad?  What if every morning at home was bad too?  What if you were struggling in your classes and didn’t have anyone who you felt could help you?  How would you come across to others?  Would people label you as dumb?  As a loser?  As a bitch?  Maybe as a slut?  Would those labels be true.

Our society has become much more accepting of homosexuals, but we still view them in their own separate category.  They’re “gay.”  By using this label, we make sure that we are defining them as being different from us.  But isn’t everyone different from us in their own ways?  Do we need to have a label to define that difference?

If you are striving to be understanding of others, then you shouldn’t feel the need to put labels on anyone, just as you don’t want to have labels put on you.  If we were all more willing to accept each other for our differences, wouldn’t the world be a better place?