From the time we are small children, we constantly hear about what we have to do. You have to be nice to your sister, you have to eat your vegetables, you have to work hard.

But the truth is, you don’t have to do any of those things. You can be mean to your sister, you can eat nothing but chips, and you can be lazy. Of course, every choice in life comes with a consequence, either positive or negative. Being mean to people will result in them not liking you. Poor eating choices lead to health problems.

When you feel overwhelmed, or stressed, think about what you actually “need” to do, and what you are choosing to do. If you are nice to your sister, and eat healthy, and work hard because you are choosing those as a path for your life, it will feel like less of a burden, and more of a choice you are making for yourself.

And if you really are making choices based on what you believe you “need” to do, take a step back and decide if that is really the best path for you. Changing your path in life is hard, but it’s better than staying on the wrong path.

December 3 was a life changing day for me. 21 years ago today, I was 16 years old, and my parents had me arrested for being an Unruly Child. I was lying in the bunk in the jail cell, looking up at all of names scratched in the paint on the bunk above me, and thinking about how mad I was at the circumstances of my life.

And then I had an epiphany. I realized, lying there stewing in my anger, that none of it mattered. Whatever it was my parents were doing, or whatever else was going on in my life, didn’t actually matter at all.

I realized in that moment that the only thing that mattered is how I chose to respond to the things happening to me. My attitude was the only thing I could control, which meant that it was the only thing that mattered.

I decided in that moment that I was going to be happy. It hasn’t been easy, and 21 years later I am still working on it, but for the past 21 years I have chosen to be happy. Bad times have come. Bad things have happened. I have definitely gone dark. But I have always come back to choosing to be happy.

It’s a lot more work to be happy than to be unhappy, but the work is worth it.

What could you achieve if you didn’t have anything in your way? What if the biggest thing in your way is actually you?

There are real things that get in our way in life, but most of the time we hold ourselves back. It’s scary to try new things, meet new people, put yourself out there in a way you’ve never done before.

But your life won’t get better if you don’t think bigger and do those scary things.

What do you really want? Think bigger, and go get it!

We all become our parents, because that was the example that we had for all of our formative years. But what if our parents aren’t the people we want to become?

The good news is that you don’t have to become your parents. It takes a lot of work, and a long time, but you do have a choice.

If you acknowledge exactly what characteristics of your parents that you don’t want to repeat, and then identify in yourself where you see those characteristics, you can avoid doing what they did.

Just because you grew up with them doesn’t mean you have to become them. You have a choice, if you’re willing to do the work.

Making progress is hard. It’s a lot easier to do nothing. But in nature, everything is either growing or dying, and we are no exception to this rule.

There’s no such thing as staying the same. There is only progress or regression. This applies to your health, your work, and your relationships. If you aren’t working to make them better, then they’re getting worse.

Don’t coast. Put in the work. Be better every day.

There are a lot of times in life when it feels like you don’t have a choice. The reality is usually that you have a choice, you just really don’t like any of the options. But that is still a choice.

Even if all available options seem terrible to you, you still have a choice between those terrible options. When you find yourself in that situation, recognize that you actually do have a choice, albeit an awful one. Then try to pick the least terrible option available to you. You’ll feel better about the outcome if you recognize your role in it.

Twenty years ago today, I was red-faced, steam coming out of my ears mad. It had been a year since my promotion, when I was promised that if I increased the profits on the 2 departments I was taking over, they would give me a cut. March 11, 1999, my boss told me there would be no bonus.

I knew in that moment that I was going to quit that job and start my own business. I had proved that I could make money for someone else, so I decided I would make money for myself. I had a mortgage, a baby girl, and a wife without a job, but I knew what I had to do.

Twenty years later, my business is thriving, that baby girl is a junior at Ohio State, and my life couldn’t be better. I saw that I needed a change in my life, so I made it happen.

There are so many moments in life where we want things to be different, and in a lot of them, we don’t have any power to make a change. But when you do have the power, make the change! Don’t let fear of the unknown, or fear of failure, hold you back from creating the life that you want.

Logically, there were many more reasons against quitting my job and starting a business than there were reasons for doing it. But I did it anyway, because for my own long term happiness, that was what I needed.

Be afraid. There’s nothing wrong with that. But don’t let the fear hold you back from creating the life that you want. Make the change. Live your best life. Don’t wait.