We frequently find ourselves listening to other people’s problems. Sometimes they are people we are close to, and sometimes they are complete strangers. It is tempting to give them advice, especially when the solution to their problem seems so obvious. Resist the urge to give advice.

People generally do not want your advice. They just want to be heard. Even if they ask for your advice, it’s likely that they are just hoping you are going to tell them what they want to hear. They probably already know what they’re going to do, whether they’ve admitted it to themselves or not.

If you give them advice that wasn’t what they were already planning to do, they’re just going to disregard it, and they might even take offense and feel like you’re telling them that they are wrong.

If they come right out and ask you what you think they should do, the best practice is to act like a therapist and turn the question back to them. “What do you think you should do?” You will add a lot more value to their life by listening to them, and asking them questions so they can explore their own feelings and arrive at a conclusion that feels right to them.