December 3 was a life changing day for me. 21 years ago today, I was 16 years old, and my parents had me arrested for being an Unruly Child. I was lying in the bunk in the jail cell, looking up at all of names scratched in the paint on the bunk above me, and thinking about how mad I was at the circumstances of my life.

And then I had an epiphany. I realized, lying there stewing in my anger, that none of it mattered. Whatever it was my parents were doing, or whatever else was going on in my life, didn’t actually matter at all.

I realized in that moment that the only thing that mattered is how I chose to respond to the things happening to me. My attitude was the only thing I could control, which meant that it was the only thing that mattered.

I decided in that moment that I was going to be happy. It hasn’t been easy, and 21 years later I am still working on it, but for the past 21 years I have chosen to be happy. Bad times have come. Bad things have happened. I have definitely gone dark. But I have always come back to choosing to be happy.

It’s a lot more work to be happy than to be unhappy, but the work is worth it.