Hollywood movies teach us that the point of dating is to find your soulmate. If you do it right, it’s amazing and romantic and you fall in love and live happily ever after.

No.

Most of the dating relationships you have aren’t going to last very long, and that is a good thing. The point of dating, especially when you’re young, is not to find the person you’re going to marry. The point of dating is to identify the qualities that you do want, and that you don’t want, in the person who you will eventually marry.

Pretty much anyone you choose to date is going to seem great at the beginning. But as you get to know them better, you find out things about them that don’t work for being in a relationship with you. This is a good thing. How else can you expect to eventually have a healthy, long-lasting relationship if you don’t learn what matters to you from the short relationships?

So, the next time you need to break up with someone, or someone breaks up with you, think about what you can learn from that experience. Think about what you can learn about yourself, and what you can learn about what you do want, and don’t want, from future relationships.

Every dating relationship is a great learning experience, if you let it be.